he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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