Already got asked if we're dating
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
