i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
