anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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