You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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