margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
