You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
