I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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