Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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