was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
