apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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