I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
