i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
