Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
