a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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