her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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