just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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