saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
