There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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