Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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