it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
