??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
