do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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