everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
