I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Let's paint friendship bongs
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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