When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
