He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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