I think I just saw someone hide a body.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
