I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
