I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
