So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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