Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
