If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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