grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
