As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
