you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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