I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
