And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
