I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
