Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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