So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
