I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This is my gift to your gina
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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