she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's never too late to be topless.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
