It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
