CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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