He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
