I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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