i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
