The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Blood and glitter go together right?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
