So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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