Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
be right there i have to get my cape
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
