Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
