I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So much rum. So many feels.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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