worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
