Ambien. No doubt about it.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
