11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
