His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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