I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
