It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize