kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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