she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm at about main and main street
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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