Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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