nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
