Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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