Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
