I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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