So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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