Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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